What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
