You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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