A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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