Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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