I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
