Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
