i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
