Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
