I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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