we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
