I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
