she is the kim kardashian of front butts
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
