Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
