My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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