I got chris browned last night
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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