you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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