burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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