ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
