how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I want to be your penis for a week.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
