don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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