that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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