Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
