A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
