I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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