she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
