I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Still dying that you shit outside
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
