when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
my nose is crying tears of wow.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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