My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
