Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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