I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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