i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
