Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
