you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
