we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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