there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
