Say something about gay babies.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
