yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
