If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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