I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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