So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
