I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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