i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
