**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
