You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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