Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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