How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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