I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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