There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
