party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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