He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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